Revolution in Dubbo – Episode 18
There isn’t time for Kevin’s introduction as the Doctor and Denis zoom off on the motorbike. Dickens’s last request is to smoke the entire Montevideo telephone book. (I couldn’t let you do that, cobber, you’ll get lung cancer! Jeez mate, if you haven’t got your health, what have you got?) Will the Doctor and Denis arrive in time to save Dickens?
ROBESPIERRE: You mate, you’re first.
CHARLES: But I’m Charles Dickens, international coward! Look, here’s my American Express Coward Card!
ROBESPIERRE: Oh beauty, I haven’t got one of those! Thanks. Righteo, now up the steps.
CHARLES: But, but…
DANA: Oh come on Charlie, you’re holding up the queue!
Revolution in Dubbo – Episode 19
Cricket commentator Fred Trueman narrates the events at the Dubbo Show Ground, where the game has reached a really exciting stage. The blade is raised and Doctor Poo arrives… and passes! … and Dickens is out. (Denis, the idea was to stop the bike at the guillotine to affect a daring rescue of Dickens and Dana. Yes, I suppose one out of two isn’t bad.)
TRUEMAN: Yes Kevin, well, it’s a lovely day here in Dubbo for a revolution, and I think under these conditions, with the slight breeze to assist the guillotine, the blade will be moving in very quick making it hard for those getting their heads chopped off to score, although the way the sheep have kept the grass down in the outfield, a few heads could be rolling out to the boundary.
Revolution in Dubbo – Episode 20
At great expense to the management, two little old ladies knitting live from Dubbo commentate on Dickens’s execution. This is a very surreal episode: the ladies are knitting a shed, the Doctor shoots them both (DANA: You could have left one for me! Selfish pig of a man!) with a roll of corn beef, before Robespierre corners him with some mustard. Poo threatens to destroy the dried frog… but Denis swallows it. And the French Revolution disappears!
DR POO: Don’t come any closer, Robespierre! See this dried frog I’m holding in my hand?
ROBESPIERRE: That’s amazing, it looks like a roll of corned beef!
DR POO: No, my other hand, you cretin. Well Robespierre, I’m going to destroy it!
DANA: What, your hand?
DR POO: No, the frog!
DANA: Oh, of course I know the frog! You’re holding it there in your hand!
DR POO: No, that’s the corned beef! This is the frog here in this hand, and I’m going to destroy this horrible occult thing!
ROBESPIERRE: What, your hand?
DR POO: No!
ROBESPIERRE: Oh, the corned beef!
Revolution in Dubbo – Episode 21
The Doctor and Dana find the TURDIS, explaining (again) that it was the demonic dried frog that had summoned the French Revolution from the past and into Dubbo. But where did the Revolution go? Dr Poo gives Denis a laxative so that in a day or two the French Revolution will be passed history.
DR POO: Up on the table Denis, I’ll just break out my trusty Junior Surgeon’s Kit… ah… oh, that’s it… yes I’ve snapped the plastic hacksaw. Ah, here’s the stethoscope! Now let’s have a listen.
DENIS: Meow!
DR POO: I’m sorry it’s so cold Denis, but if I try warming the end it will melt. Great Barrier Reef, Dana, listen to this!
[They hear La Marseillaise]
DANA: The French Revolution’s inside Denis!
DR POO: Ah! A bit of a storm in a tom cat!
Revolution in Dubbo – Episode 22
Denis is on his out-tray, excreting, bit-by-bit, the French Revolution (little snippets of La Marseillaise). Dana persuades the Doctor to take Denis back to his home planet – though his family is a touchy subject. He killed his parents, and his grandmother – ‘It was a fair fight though, I mean there were two of them.’
DR POO: Ah, now that little turd looks like Napoleon so I think that should be the last of it. OK Dana, shovel Denis’s kitty litter into a parrot post box would you?
DANA: Erugh, yuck!
DR POO: Hurry up, I don’t want the French Revolution running wild all over the TURDIS.
DANA: Oh alright.
DR POO: And then send it cosmic priority post back to 18th Century France.
