There’s a dark secret in the basement of the Hub. Even Jack is unaware of it, but Ianto knows. And he’ll go to any lengths, sacrifice anything and anyone, to protect what’s down there.
Originally Titled The Trouble With Lisa
Length 49’07”
First Transmitted
10pm, 5th November 2006, BBC Three and BBC HD
9 pm, 8th November 2006, BBC Two
Guest Cast
Kai Owen (Rhys Williams); Caroline Chikezie (Lisa [Hallett]); Togo Igawa (Dr Tanizaki); Bethan Walker (Annie)
Writer Chris Chibnall
Director James Strong
Inspired by Kit Pedler & Gerry Davis (Creators of the Cybermen)
Setting
The Hub and surrounding area, across one evening.The episode could have conceivably been shot in “real time”, however we can’t be sure how long Ianto and Dr Tanizaki were working on Lisa whilst the team were in the pub.
Did You Spot?
Lisa thinks her appearance is disgusting, harking back to the Cybermen’s mention of aesthetics in Doomsday. Jubilee Pizza makes another appearance in this episode, having been introduced as Torchwood’s local pizza delivery establishment in the first episode, Everything Changes.
Love is in the Air
Ianto and Lisa were a couple before her partial cyber-conversion. Owen and Gwen have a brief, but intense, snog whilst hiding in the autopsy room locker. Jack kisses Ianto, presumably to revive him from his unconscious state. Gwen continues to spend more time with the her new friends (playing basketball) and less with Rhys; we briefly see Rhys phoning Gwen to video Wife Swap.
If it’s Alien, it’s Ours
The cyber-conversion unit in the basement, along with the surrounding equipment. The device Toshiko uses to unlock the doors. Possibly the two rods Jack gave to Toshiko to power up the base.
Captain Jack’s Large Weapon
The team all use handguns when on the hunt for Ianto. Jack pulls out his Smith & Wesson when trying to stop Ianto from going back down into the hub to save Lisa.
Torchwood Shop: Now Open for Business
We see at Torchwood branded basketball hoop, as well as branded medical equipment, in this episode.
Cymru am Byth
Jack can’t have been living in Cardiff very long as he’s never been to a Rugby match! Fortunately Gwen’s going to make arrangements next time Wales are playing an international game at home.
To Live and Die in Cardiff
Lisa kills Dr Tanizaki by subjecting him to cyber-conversion, which fails; she claims to do this to repay him for the favour of helping her. Lisa also killsAnnie, the pizza delivery girl, by removing her brain and inserting her own into Annie’s body; in doing this, Cyber-Lisa effectively kills Lisa’s body. The team kill Lisa/Annie.
Sounds Brilliant
The episode opens with an extract from Mogwai’s instrumental piece ‘We’re No Here’, written for the 2006 movie Miami Vice. Shortly afterwards, while (most of) Torchwood enjoy a drink, Snow Patrol’s ‘Chocolate’ is playing in the bar – released in 2004 this is the second single to appear in Torchwood from their third album Final Straw, after ‘Spitting Games’ had appeared in Everything Changes.
Quotables
“What is the last thing you remember before coming here?” – Dr. Tanizaki
“Pain. I remember my body burning with pain.” – Lisa“Sometimes, in order to save what we love, we must risk losing it.” – Dr Tanizaki
“All I’m saying is that once in awhile, I’d like to drive.” – Toshiko
“ Yeah, well all I’m saying is no.” – Owen
“Why not?” – Toshiko
“Because I’ve shared cars with women before and I know what’ll happen. There’ll be an emergency, all rearing to go and I jump in; what do I find? Seats in the wrong position, rear-view mirror is out of align and the steering wheel is in my crotch. The time it takes to sort it all out, aliens will have taken Newport.” – Owen
“What about a rota? Different people drive on different days.” – Gwen
“We’re a secret organisation hunting alien technology from an underground base. And YOU want a rota for who drives.” – Jack
“Just tryin’ to help.” – Gwen
“I can help you. The human race is weak. I can make you strong.” – Lisa
“This can’t happen again, Lisa. If you harm anyone else I’ll…” – Ianto
“Yes? What will you do?” – Lisa
“You hid a Cyberman within Torchwood, and you didn’t tell us? What else are you keeping from us?” – Jack
“Like you care. I clear up your shit. No questions asked and that’s the way you like it. When did you last ask me anything about my life?” – Ianto
“Ianto, you have to believe me, there is no cure. There never will be. Those who are converted stay that way. Your girlfriend will not be the exception.” – Jack
“Lisa please, I brought you here to heal you. So we can be together.” – Ianto
“Together. Yes. Transplant my brain into your body. The two of us, together. Fused. We will be one complete person. Isn’t that what love is?” – Lisa
“No.” – Ianto
“Then we. Are not. Compatible.” – Lisa
“Is that all you got? I’m not so easily deleted.” – Jack
“What the hell was that?” – Gwen
“What?” – Owen
“Snogging me?” – Gwen
“Last kiss for the dead man! It was embarassing that we haven’t been killed. What? It’s not like I fancy you or anything.” – Owen
“I was laying on top of you; I could feel your hard on.” – Gwen
“Yeah. Right, you didn’t exactly struggle did ya?” – Owen
“You should be dead.” – Owen
“I’m the stubborn type.” – Jack
“You’re worse than anything locked up down there. One day, I’ll have the chance to save you. And I’ll watch you suffer and die.” – Ianto (to Jack)
“You brought this down on us. You hid her. You hid yourself from us. Now it’s time for you to stand as part of a team.” – Jack
“Jack.” – Gwen
“The girl you loved has gone. Your loyalty is to us now.” – Jack
“You can’t order me to do that.” – Ianto
“You execute her, or I’ll execute you both!” – Jack
“I won’t do it. You can’t make me. You like to think you’re a hero. But you’re the biggest monster of them all.” – Ianto
“When she had a hold of you I thought, just for a moment I thought, maybe you could die after all.” – Gwen
“Wanna know a secret?” – Jack
“Yeah?” – Gwen
“So did I. And, just for a second there I felt so alive.” – Jack
Weren’t You In?
Caroline Chikezie played Elaine Hardy in Footballer’s Wives for a seven episode stint (2004). She also played the role of Freya in Æon Flux (2005). Togo Igawa has a long list of credits to his name; recent titles that stand out are Memoirs of a Geisha (2005) and The Last Samauri (2003).
Unanswered Questions
How did the doctor get in the hub, both without the team seeing him and without Ianto at reception opening the doors? If the parts used to upgrade Lisa came from the Cybermen’s home world, why wasn’t Lisa sucked back into the Void with the other Cybermen? And, alternatively, if the parts used to upgrade Lisa were from our world, then surely there are likely to be more creatures like her left behind (although Dr Tanizaki implied she was unique). With millions of Cybermen across the planet, and conversions take less than a few minutes there would HAVE to be more. Did Ianto transfer from London or was he just visiting? How/why did Lisa’s still-human eyes open with a cyber-sound effect? What made Lisa suddenly go from human to Cyberwoman before she killed the doctor? How can Lisa alternate between her human voice to a cyber-voice? How is Lisa able to resist the urge to upgrade Ianto during her cyber-state? (Is her love for Ianto evidence that she still had some humanity left?) After what has just happened, why doesn’t Ianto notice the flickering lights coming from Lisa’s chamber as he pulls Tanizaki’s body down the corridor. Why does the Hub use an internal comms system that relies on stationary hardware? What is happening to Lisa when she’s on the cyber-converter when the electric charge is running through her? How is the electricity helping her? Furthermore, why was the cyber-conversion unit even left on? Why does Lisa make the traditional Cyberman “stomp” noise so suddenly when she was able to walk so quietly before? Would a switch, that can cut off all the power in the Hub, and cause it to go into lock-down for 6 hours, really be as simple to flip? Why is Toshiko questioning everything Jack tells her to do in this episode? HOW is Jack’s wrist device able to operate the cyber-conversion unit? How does Lisa control that electric charge? Why were the Cybermen so thoughtful as to give the Human-point-2 females high-heel boots? Why, if there are other empty lockers, do Gwen and Owen have to get in the same one? Assuming Jack gave Ianto one of his patented “Kisses of Life”, why was there no vortex glow like when he kissed Carys in Day One? How does Gwen get a mobile signal in an underground base, inside a morgue locker, no less? The pterodactyl is heard, but not seen, after its attack; if it didn’t kill Lisa, did she hurt it? Just how long does it take Jubilee Pizza to deliver? Why do the doors open automatically for the pizza girl? What does Ianto mean when he tells Jack he’s the biggest monster of them all? (What does he know?)How does Lisa effectively communicate in so human a way when seconds later, she speaks of upgrading? (Presumably, her brain is partially cybernetic, but how is she able to switch back and forth so easily?) Why did they need so many bullets to take Lisa/Annie down? What terms did Jack and Ianto come to that Jack trusts him to stay with Torchwood?
Fuck Ups
Throughout this episode Ianto is very skittish, but Lisa has presumably been in the basement throughout the last three episodes as well, and fear of discovery must always have been there. In fact, his demeanour in the previous three episodes is so calm and collected that this episode stands out like a sore thumb.The lights are affected by Lisa’s conversion, however all the monitors are still on, PCs running, and worst of all, the kettle is still boiling. It’s odd that these things would be on backup power when the lights are not. When Ianto views the team returning on the scanner, and then he and Tanizaki move Lisa, the next shot outside shows the team in exactly the same spot as before. Also, did he really have enough time to edit out all that CC footage? (Equally, it seems worth questioning how Toshiko was able to recover it as quickly.) When Lisa is converting Tanizaki, the door closes itself. Ianto didn’t seem to have time to bolt Lisa’s chamber when he left? (It’s bolted, but not locked, as Gwen and Owen enter.) If he did it was a poor job of keeping anyone out as he just pulled the bolts and didn’t actually put a lock on the door. The screen in the boardroom is flickering although the power is totally out. The alien door unlocking mechanism looks remarkably similar to the prop used for the alien scanner that Toshiko borrowed in Everything Changes. At first, when Gwen is on the conversion table, we hear her screaming but she is not visually doing so. How does Lisa survive to remove her brain to put it into Annie? Unless she had time to construct a robot/life support device, there is no way she could have done the transplant herself. Furthermore, her head appears intact from the front, and Ianto holds it from behind – is he holding a big gaping hole? Jack’s immortality automatically heals his wounds, but in the end, he still has a scar on his lip from Ianto punching him; does he have to die for this special healing to work?
Torchwood: Declassifed Episode 4 (10’06”)
Broadcast BBC Three, Monday 6th November, 2:40am.
Behind the scenes of episode 4, introduced by Russell T Davies, John Barrowman, Eve Myles and Naoko Mori.
Barrowman, Davies, Gareth David-Lloyd and Mori talk about what little with know about Ianto, followed by Barrowman, Davies and Strong covering the changes we discover this week. Myles, Davies and Barrowman discuss Gwen’s reaction and why he did what he did.
Chris Chibnall reminisces about his initial contact with Davies about Torchwood, while Burn Gorman, Myles, Barrowman, David-Lloyd and Davies get excited about Cybermen.
Davies on the Cybersuit, and Neill Gorton explains his motivation for the design. Caroline Chickezie seems oddly happy to be wearing it. Strong adds his enthusiasm, and Davies is befuddled by the heterosexual appeal. She is described by Barrowman as “scary”, David-Lloyd as “sexy” and Strong as “iconic”.
Davies, Chibnall and Strong laugh about pterodactyls and David-Lloyd talks about Jones’ internal struggle. Barrowman spoils our illusions about the filming of the pterodactyl scene.
Finally Barrowman, Davies, Gorman, David-Lloyd and Myles preview the next episode.
(Note this episode changed the style for the name captions from the style established for the first three).
Site Review by Rob Tizzard
Again, the intro is pointless. Sure it will help for the casual viewer, but how many casual viewers would stumble across a new show before it starts?
Much better would be to fill out the opening credits a little. But down to business and the pre-credits to this episode are the best yet. Ianto, who has so far appeared to point at doors and hand over pizza, is revealed to be hiding a secret, and not a little one either. The oriental Doctor, Ianto and the big entrance of the Cyberwoman complete with some wicked tragedy rock music all make this a very interesting beginning.
This episode is the darkest yet and strangely has the biggest connection to the brightly lit family show which spawned it. Ianto is given more depth than any other regular has so far displayed after just ten minutes of this story. His journey is a stark reminder to all that Torchwood is a dangerous organisation to work for. The hub appears dark, old and scary and not a pleasant place to be trapped in against your will.
Jack’s reaction and whole attitude seems a little off, but not so much if you consider what a loner he was when he first appeared. In love with no one but himself and look what happened. Is this why he became a goodie, because he fell in love? He is not the Doctor and neither is he human, maybe that’s why he needs Gwen so much, to teach him what it is to be human.
This is stunningly directed and Gareth David-Lloyd (Ianto) is pretty awesome in his performance. He realises far too late, I think, that the woman he loved died a while ago, he just couldn’t let go and it made him make some terrible mistakes. It’s a simple tale told in a spectacular way, the crew must have wet themselves over the fate of the Cyberwoman with Jack’s pet.
The original title, The Trouble With Lisa, seems much more fitting than the attention grabbing one it was finally given. It would have been nice to show the mental struggle between Lisa and the Cyberwoman a bit more, she just seemed to suddenly go bad apart from the chilling, shocking climax. These guys keep on surprising, something hard to achieve in Who these days. Now Torchwood feels like the reward to all us long term Who fans, who were hoping for something a little more ‘New Adventures’. And I am most excited about next time…
Reader Reviews
If Ghost Machine illustrates the heights to which Torchwood can possibly climb, it is perhaps appropriate that large parts of Cyberwoman are set in the depths of the Earth, as it falls rather closer to the other end of the quality scale. Perhaps it’s the central focus that is at fault – modern-day Cybermen are rather two-dimensional children’s teatime fare, a sad (if striking) shadow of Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis’ chilling 1960s creations. In my opinion, they’ve never looked better, but they sure used to be a little more calculating than 2006’s stomping foot-soldiers. Additionally, the whole Cyber-conversion process as seen in Rise of the Cybermen and The Age of Steel is pretty unconvincing, and grafting these elements into a supposedly adult drama is a recipe for disaster.
The whole premise is bonkers to begin with – the suggestion that Ianto is able to save his girlfriend when she’s not fully processed is dopey beyond words, particularly when you consider that the unprocessed human flesh visible is perfect and unscarred – not even scratched (compare this to the grisly appearance of the processed pizza-delivery girl at the end). Ianto manages to get her from London to Cardiff without being apprehended and then smuggles her into Torchwood past the top alien investigators in the business, into an area that conveniently only he goes to? Then he manages to hide her for months on end (the Canary Wharf incident is implied as being some while previous). Realism? Give me a break! It’s sadly a given for Doctor Who, but I shouldn’t have to suspend my disbelief for the sake of the kiddies in Torchwood.
The Cyberwoman design is impressive if rather too reminiscent of the robot from Fritz Lang’s 1926 classic, Metropolis. To be honest though, the creation fails to truly convince in the context of the story. It looks like a woman in a costume rather than one half converted to Cyber technology. The costume looks too “finished” – too much like it was designed to look exactly the way it does, rather than as a halfway stage in the conversion process where the Cyber implants and armour are yet to be fully integrated into the human victim. As for the breast plate… didn’t The Age of Steel prove that once processed, there is no physical difference between a man and a woman who has become “upgraded”?
The other big mistake from my point of view is that viewers are asked to empathise with Ianto, a character who barely exists in the initial three episodes, and who certainly has shown no sign of hiding a big secret from the others up until now. It seems a bit silly not to flesh out Ianto’s character a little before putting him in the quandary of choosing between his girlfriend and his colleagues. Sadly, whereas I was clearly meant to side with Ianto, I just found his character so incredibly weak, irritating and unsympathic that I actually wanted Jack to shoot! Not the reaction I think I was meant to have… So far, Ianto is the least convincing of the Torchwood staff, and unfortunately, Gareth David-Lloyd’s overplayed performance is hardly improving matters. All in all, this seems like an idea that should have been left to Doctor Who to explore. It’s just too silly and contrived for an adult programme. Effectively a “bottle story” set almost entirely in the Hub, this really dragged for me – much more so than any of the first three which, despite their occasional flaws, flew by and were generally entertaining. I hope this particular episode proves to be the nadir of Torchwood – it really can’t get any worse than this, can it?
Alan Hayes
