Here comes the bride – impregnated with an alien baby. As Gwen and Rhys’ big day finally arrives, the two realise that life as a Torchwood agent never stops. But will their parents all believe that Gwen has kept a pregnancy quiet for nine months? And more importantly, will everyone live to see the disco?
Length 46’14”
First Transmitted
In unedited form at 9:50pm on Wednesday 5th March 2008, BBC Three.
In edited form at 7pm on Thursday 13th March 2008, BBC Two.
The BBC Three broadcast was immediately after the BBC Two broadcast of A Day in the Death
Guest Cast
Kai Owen (Rhys Williams); Nerys Hughes (Brenda Williams); Sharon Morgan (Mary Cooper); William Thomas (Geraint Cooper); Robin Griffith (Barry Williams); Collette Brown (Carrie); Danielle Henry (Megan); Ceri Ann Gregory (Trina); Jonathan Lewis Owen (Banana Boat); Morgan Hopkins (Mervyn); Valerie Murray (Registrar); Pethrow Gooden (Shop Assistant)
Writer Phil Ford
Director Ashley Way
Setting
This episode starts at the beginning of Gwen’s hen night and carries on through the very end of the wedding day the next day. The hen night is presumably in Cardiff since Gwen arrives out of breath from work, but the wedding is held somewhere “out in the middle of nowhere” if Jack is to be believed.
Did You Spot?
The episode opens with a flashback to Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, with additional footage not originally broadcast. During the pre-credits sequence, Gwen dashes around the same area of Cardiff that doubled for the Auton invasion in Rose (it can most clearly be seen just before Gwen is bitten, and also Jack enters running away from the pub that doubled as a Police station), and we also see she seems to share the same alarm clock as the ninth Doctor’s companion. William Thomas has appeared in both the classic and new series of Doctor Who, as well as Torchwood – he is the first to appear in three “worlds” of the series. He was in the Seventh Doctor serial Remembrance of the Daleks, as well as the Ninth Doctor’s Boom Town. Nerys Hughes appeared in the Fifth Doctor serial Kinda, as well as the Eighth Doctor audio drama Phobos.
Twisted Reality
The real-life Trinity Street and St Mary’s Street both get a mention. Tosh references the Fred Astaire film Easter Parade.
Love is in the Air
Gwen and Rhys get married. Banana tries to chat up Tosh. The Nostravite seduces Melvin up to a bedroom before she eats him. Owen and Tosh have a few warm moments despite the difficult circumstances (he describes her as “drop dead gorgeous”).
If it’s Alien, it’s Ours
Owen brings along the singularity scalpel, but this time Rhys operates it to liberate Gwen from carrying the alien baby.
Captain Jack’s Large Weapon
Jack shoots the alien who attacked and impregnated Gwen. Tosh, Owen and Ianto all are carrying guns in this episode. Jack uses some impressive blasting device to kill the Nostravite at the end.
To Live and Die in Cardiff
The alien who impregnates Gwen is shot by Jack. Nick dies at the hands of the Nostravite. The alien baby is obliterated thanks to Rhys and the singularity scalpel.
Sounds Brilliant
The club at the start plays Filthy/Gorgeous, the sixth single from Scissor Sisters’ eponymous first album and also Hole in the Head, the first single from Sugababes’ second album Three (and their fourth single overall).. At the reception, we briefly hear the Paul Weller classic You Do Something To Me and Tainted Love by Softcell.
Quotables
Jack: You are not thinking straight!
Gwen: Do not bring my bloody hormones into this, Mister Jack Harkness!
Owen: She’s going ahead with the wedding.
Jack: Which is fine, as long as she doesn’t go into labour at the altar. Rhys might forgive her for going down the aisle pregnant, but not giving birth to a razor-tooth monster that eats half his family.
Ianto: Could that happen?
Ianto: I’m looking for a wedding dress for a friend.
Assistant: Of course you are, Sir. You’d be surprised – we’re quite used to men buying “for their friends”.
Gwen: It’s not about the money, Rhys. I wanna marry you today. Whatever happens. If the skies suddenly fill full of spaceships, or an army of Weevils climb out of the drains on St Mary’s Street, you fool!
Mrs Williams: What a lovely outfit. Such a brave choice for you.
Mrs Cooper: And you were so made for green.
Banana: I’m Banana…
Tosh: You come in spots and go soft quickly?
Banana: Actually I’m the best man.
Tosh: Evolution is full of surprises.
Jack: What is it with you? Ever since Owen died all you do is agree with him!
Ianto: I was brought up never to speak ill of the dead.
Mrs Williams: The problem seems to be an American with no sense of timing or fashion.
Rhys: That’s for calling my mother an ugly bitch!
Weren’t You In?
Nerys Hughes is best known as the star of The Liver Birds (1969-96), but has also taken dozens of guest appearances over the years including Z Cars (1963 and 1967), Softly, Softly (1969), Doctor Who (1982) and Doctors (2000). William Thomas has a large amount of (often Welsh-produced) credits to his name, such as Grange Hill (1981), The Magnificent Evans (1984), Doctor Who (1988 and 2005), We Are Seven (1989-91), Yr Heliwr (1997-2002), Y Mabinogi (2003), Pobol Y Cwm (2004-5) and Pris, Y (2007). Sharon Morgan has been spotted in Coronation Street (1979), The Magnificent Evans (1984), Yr Heliwr (1994-2002),Pobol Y Cwm (2004), Doctors (2005-7) and many more. Robin Griffith can be seen in various TV roles including The Famous Five (1997), and High Hopes (2005). Colette Brown has made over 20 appearances in TV and film, including Dangerfield (1997), Casualty (1994-8), Ultraviolet, Holby City (2001-2) and Doctors (2003-6). Morgan Owens also has a couple of Welsh productions – Ymadawiad Arthur (1994) and Yr Heliwr (1994) – to his name, along with appearances in Twin Town (1997), Murphy’s Law (2004) and Doctor Who (2005).
Unanswered Questions
How drunk was Gwen that she didn’t feel her stomach expanding through the night? And how did she escape stretch marks (that much growth in such a short time!)? Could Ianto really have bought a wedding dress for a pregnant woman in a normal shop on short notice? Is Gwen originally from Swansea or do her parents just live there now? What was the Nostravite waiting for during the ceremony – was she really respecting convention, or was the baby just not ready yet? Why don’t gunshots wound the mother Nostravite as quickly as they killed the father? Why does Gwen pick up her flowers when Rhys’ mum comes into the room? It looks like she’s trying to hide her belly, but obviously she already knows. Why is the Nostravite not trying to keep better track of Gwen? She just appears to stand around a lot waiting for something. How did Gwen get the alien’s blood on her dress when she shot from so far away? How does the Nostravite impersonate Jack SO well? And where does it get the clothes from for the people it impersonates? Why does s/he know that trying to kiss Gwen would be a suitable distraction? How did the alien not sense the baby dying? Did Gwen bring her original wedding dress to the hotel as well? Even though the dress during the ceremony is stained, it’s clean and well-fitted at the reception. Jack was married?!
Fuck Ups
Ianto doesn’t appear to be looking for dresses to fit a heavily pregnant woman. When Rhys hangs up on Jack, we hear a landline’s dial tone. Since they were both on mobiles, the call would have just cut off, rather than ending in this way. For the first time, we hear Jack slip fully into an American dialect when he says “mom and dad”. Only a few episodes ago, he called his own mother “mum”. The distance between the ceremony and the hotel seems rather far, however when Jack asks Ianto to stop the screaming bridesmaid, he doesn’t catch her before she enters the ceremony tent to tell everyone. He definitely would have caught her before this, having left the room only moments after she did.
Torchwood: Declassified Episode 2.09 (12’31”)
Broadcast BBC Two, Thursday 13th February, 7:50pm, immediately after the edited version of the main episode.
Richard Stokes and Ashley Way explain the challenges of organising a wedding shoot. Way tells us why they made the location choices they did.
Mike Crowley talks us through the window jump.
Phil Ford explains why he was brought onto the show while Russell T Davies, Stokes and Way talk about the inherent comedy.
Eve Myles, Kai Owen and Nerys Hughes on the actors perspective.
Ford, Way, Davies and Owen on the Jack/Gwen/Rhys love triangle.
Ford and Davies talk about the Nostrovite effect and Hughes about playing one.
Site Review by Arthur Penn
The rules of all good sci-fi drama are as follows: As soon as you feel confident enough, do a comic episode. And its fitting that this extremely confident show should make such a valiant attempt at a relatively early stage. True, Doctor Who before it managed a comic story towards the end of the second season (no-one’s going to convince me The Chase was played straight) but the seasons were so much longer back then.
So, as the 22nd episode of Torchwood, was it time for a light story? I thought not, warily viewing this episode and already preparing a damning review in my head. And, somewhat typically for this series, I was pleasantly surprised, laughing out loud from the moment Gwen started waving that pickle around with the most amazing comic timing and not stopping until the end, with a brief pause for some sniffles when Ianto rested his head against Jack’s for the dance (yes, so I’m falling in love with the Jack/Ianto relationship – sue me). Even the usually reserved Tosh gets some great lines, with Banana Boat seemingly created purely as a foil for her wit. The parents play it marvellously obnoxious, Ianto continues his comic one-liners, and only Owen seems hard done by with this script, largely ignoring him. A shame, given how much comic relief one can have from a corpse (yes, I’m also a fan of Weekend at Bernies. My apologies), but perhaps after the recent weeks’ angst from that quarter, it wouldn’t seem appropriate.
But of course, as with most of the first year and too few of this year, this episode belongs to Gwen and Rhys, who absolutely shine, effortlessly switching from the soppy to the hilarious with the quality we’ve come to expect from Eve and Kai.
So far this year, we’ve been bombarded with episodes that I’ve had to give high critical respect to, but that I know I’ll find tough to watch if I’m ever in the slightest bit emotionally vulnerable. At last, here we have a Torchwood you can safely watch by yourself with a drink in your hand. A true popcorn episode in the most complimentary sense of the word.
