K9 Says…
The storyline is conceptually similar to the 2005 Doctor Who novel Winner Takes All, in which a videogame is used to assess the suitability of using abducted humans in a war.
Players
Chook Sibtain (Mark Grantham); Sarah Haynes (Carrie Metcalf); Pamela Merrick (Wendy); Sonny Muslim (Lance); James Bellamy (Brandon Butler); Nadiyah Davis (Jen); Chrissie Furness (Cashier); Paul Kasey (Kudlak/Emperor/Mistress); Silas Carson (Voice of Kudlak/Emperor); Tina Greatex (Voice of Mistress).
NOT South Croydon
Combat 3000 is located at 64-69 Corporation Street, Ealing, London W13 5TA (Phone 020 7946 0387946, which is three digits too long). While there is indeed a Corporation Street in both the north and east sides of London, there’s not currently one on the west side. In fact there is no postcode W13 5TA! Maria thinks that Ealing gets too much rain.
K9 Says…
Two children have disappeared recently, all from urban cities, including London, Manchester, Brighton, Leeds and Inverness. All cities where a Combat 300 is located. The story of missing children was especially topical at the time of broadcast, as four-year old Madelaine McCann had disappeared five months previously, the subject of which had been front-page news on a regular basis since.
Blink and You’d Miss It
Amongst the posters and books in his room, Lance has the old Milton Bradley game, Battleship. In Sarah Jane’s attic there are plans on the walls for a Jagaroth spaceship and Cybermen schematics. Clyde trys to teach Luke in the ways of slang, uhm, somehow making him Obi-Wan Kenobi – his next step will presumably be to get killed and come back as an ineffective ghost giving Luke vague messages to “help” him. Later Jen mentions “Beam me up, Scotty” when the kids realise they are onboard a spaceship. This, of course, referring to the one and only teleporter wizard and engineering genius, Montgomery Scott, also known as Scotty for short and long time member of Jim Kirk’s (who gets a mention by Clyde a bit later) crew aboard the Enterprise on Star Trek (1966-69, plus movies from 1979- 91) – as every card-carrying geek knows, no-one ever said “Beam me up, Scotty” on Star Trek. Maria makes another sci-fi reference, wondering if the kids have been taken to the Planet of the Apes, referring to the 1968 film that spawned four sequels, a TV series, an animated series, and a 21st century remake.
K9 Says…
General Uvlavad Kudlak is a Uvodni, whose homeworld is in the spiral cluster of the Dragon Nebula, 34,000 light years from Earth.Gender Gap
Luke finds out about girls and their compulsive need for lots of handbags. His first kiss takes him a bit by surprise though.
Things That Embarrass Us
Luke needs to practice his jokes a bit more, unfortunately for Luke he also thinks his jokes may have upset Lance. The Combat 3000 cashier loves her job so much she’s thinking of switching to work in a tanning salon.
Classified/Top Secret
Lance’s father was in the Army and killed in Iraq.
K9 Says…
Lance Metcalf has scored the top five positions on the arcade game in the shop. Even his lowest rating is 193.0399% higher than the next closest ranking.
Mode of Transport
The teleporter makes Luke feel sick to his stomach. Clyde just hopes he doesn’t puke in their trophy.
The Sarah Jane Utility Belt
Not only has Sarah Jane learned how to build surprisingly sophisticated technology, she seems to have some sort of power welder as well. She keeps cylinders made from Syberinite flux, which when clasped at the same time completed an electro-neurological circuit, in effect causing any Human touching them to be out cold for approximately an hour. The machine she creates out of spare parts works so well that it produces entanglement shells out of thin air. Luke knows a few tricks too and is able to wire Clyde’s mobile up to the Uvadni computer system.
K9 Says…
Entanglement Shells are used by climate engineers to terra-form hostile alien environments. In other words, they stimulate rainfall.
Mr Smith Says…
If I might continue, Entanglement Shells can also be a by-product of some forms of transdimensional energy dispersal. In other words, a transmat.
Eldrad Must Live (and everybody else must die)
Somehow Grantham escapes the demise he deserves so much several times, but uhm everyone in the story manages to stay alive. Well, except the Mistress, but she was just a computer program and they don’t count. Do they? (Just don’t tell Mr Smith!)
Keeping it in the Family
Clyde’s dad apparently ran off with his own Aunt Melba. We agree, Clyde’s life might be a bit complex.
Girls Clyde Thinks are Fit
He seems rather taken with Jen, and even tries to impress her, but she seems to like Luke a lot more.
“And He Goes… And She Goes…”
“You have proved yourself in the arena. You have hearts of heroes. You will not suffer our enemies to live, and we will honour your sacrifice.” – The Mistress
“So you’re going to tell the police, that I helped some bar ugly alien send some kids to war in a galaxy far, far away?” – Grantham
“We’re in space, Luke, who are you gonna ring? Have you got the number for Captain Kirk?” – Clyde
“War changes everything.” – General Kudlak
“Peace does not compute.” – The Mistress
“You know you said anything I wanted to know, just ask, right?” – Luke
“Encyclopediaclydanitica, I’m your man” – Clyde
“Tell me about girls.” – Luke
“Aww, man!” – Clyde
Things That Don’t Make Sense (even to a six-year old)
Sarah Jane claims to have had some training while in UNIT, but she was never an actual member of UNIT.
Snafus
The door that Sarah Jane and Maria escape from doesn’t appear to be the same door on the outside. Sarah makes a comment about Lance possibly wanting to be the first Human man on Mars. Has she forgotten about the British Space Program and all the Mars Probe missions (The Ambassadors of Death).
Also Known As
Silas Carson has been seen and heard many times before, playing multiple characters in the Star Wars prequel trilogy, and the voices of the Ood in Doctor Who – you can see him properly in William and Mary (2005), Spooks (2005) and Hustle (2006).
Sonny Muslim has also been in a load of stuff, starting with Holby City (2000), but you’ll probably remember him from playing Jase in a load of episodes of EastEnders (2004), and something called The Story of Tracy Beaker (2002).
Photographic Proof
