Players
Phyllida Law (Bea Nelson-Stanley); Sarah Crowden (Mrs Gribbons); Doreen Mantle (Mrs Randall); Beth Goddard (Sister Helena); Audrey Ardington (The Abbess).
NOT South Croydon
Lavender Lawns Rest Home and St Agnes Abbey are both somewhere near London. Meanwhile, the Gorgon homeworld is 100 million light years away. This story is set six months after Chrissie and Alan split up (so probably nearly six months after the events of Invasion of the Bane).
K9 Says…
Three Gorgons arrived on Earth thousands of years ago, and became part of the legends and myths of the planet. Over the centuries two of the Gorgons have perished; most likely the one known as Medusa in ancient times, and the other during the encounter with Edgar and Mrs Nelson-Stanley fifty years ago.
Blink and You’d Miss It
Sarah gives a look of surprise when Bea mentions the Sontarans. Of course, she’s met them on two previous occasions in the past (The Time Warrior and The Sontaran Experiment). Mrs Randall mentions the classic Hammer film, The Gorgon, which did indeed star Chris Lee and Babs Shelley, but also previous Dr Who Pete Cushing. The nuns refer to “solving a problem like Maria” – not only a reference to The Sound of Music but more specifically one to the 2006 TV series featuring John Barrowman, How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?, in which the leading role in the current London production was recast publicly. Sarah Jane knows her mythology; she’s got the story of the Gorgons down pat. The Sultan of Ishkanda had seen the Yeti. Dunno if these were the real ones, or Padmasambhava’s robots. The Taxi that takes Chrissie away at the end has an advert for Henrik’s (Rose, The Christmas Invasion) on the door.
Generation Gap
Cylde is close enough to his Nan to believe her when she tells him of the nun that Mrs Randall sees. Mrs Randall was once Miss Ealing (1951), to the utter astonishment of Clyde and Luke. Nor does our Clyde like the idea that his Nan suggested he could do some little jobs for her. Sarah Jane is the coolest mum that Maria’s not had. When Maria’s dad is turned to stone, she takes out her frustration yelling angrily at Sarah Jane. But, Sarah’s a smart woman and knows that Maria’s not really mad at her, and instead of getting upset or accusing comforts poor Maria and tells her they will make this right! Can we just say again that we really wish Sarah Jane was our mum too. Bea thinks that Maria is a bit too young to be the curator of the Museum of Egyptology. She’s probably right.
Things That Embarrass Us
Nora Connelly probably has to wear adult nappies. Chrissie, again. Like, who has leopard print luggage… well, we can think of “some” people, but it’d be too rude to say. Maria puts little hearts on her school books, how swee… uhm totally uncool.
Things That Make Us Happy
When Chrissie finally gets told off. First by Maria, and then by Alan. ‘Bout time, bitch!
Classified/Top Secret
We bet Bea (Nelson-Stanley) knows a few secret organizations. After all, she’s danced in the palace of the Sultan of Ishkandar. Sarah’s got several fake press passes, including two for Bunny Mansfield (Plush Press), plus ones with the names Victoria Williams and Felicity Barnes.
Mode of Transport
The Gorgons plan to use a transdimensional occlusion to travel from their world to ours. But in order to form properly between the planets, the angle of accession must be perfectly aligned. This takes about an hour or so to build up (after all 100 million miles is a long way to come).
The Sarah Jane Utility Belt
The Gorgon’s talisman was unearthed by Bea’s husband, Edgar, in Syria fifty years ago. The sonic lipstick fails to work on old locks like those at the Abbey, but Luke is able to use an old-fashioned trowel to pick the lock in the basement. Maria saves the planet with Bea’s mirror.
K9 Says…
Young Mistress Maria returns the mirror and the talisman to Ms Nelson-Stanley at the end of their adventure. This seems to bring some degree of peace to the woman.
Eldrad Must Live (and everybody else must die)
Mrs Gribbons gets stoned. So does Alan, but Maria’s a bright girl that not only saves everybody, but unsolidifies her dad. The 200-year old Abbess has her snakes reflected back on here, giving her a taste of her own medicine.
K9 Says…
When the Abbess is turned to stone by her own powers, the mental hold the Gorgon had on the nuns is released, leaving them rather bewildered.
Guys Kelsey Things Are Fit
Dunno about Kelsey, but Chrissie’s got Ivan (the new boyfriend) punching out Carlos (the dance instructor) while she moves in with Alan (the ex). Maria is so not gonna learn anything good from her. Oh, but ya can watch out for Clyde’s bum as he enters the Abbey. Alan thinks he’d look good as one of those Greek statues and gives a little pose.
Sarah Jane’s Got the Coolest Duds
Sarah’s got this cool Fourth Doctor jacket thing going on. Unfortunately Chrissie’s outfit leaves a LOT to be desired. Especially those shoes.
“And He Goes… And She Goes…”
“At school the only figures I was interested in was fellas phone numbers. Huhuhuh.” – Chrissie
“Way technologies moving – by the time I’m 40, I can get my brain put in a robot. Live forever.” – Clyde
“Listen to me, Maria, you are not going to lose it. You are not going to fall apart, do you understand me? Whatever’s happened to your father, there is one thing I’ve learned after all these years – there’s always a chance.” – Sarah Jane
“Sarah Jane was right, wasn’t she? I thought meeting creatures from other planets was gonna be exciting and cool, but she told me, she said it wasn’t anything like that. In the end it just messes you up. Your whole life and the people you love. That’s why Sarah Jane’s always been on her own. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it Bea? With no one in the world who really knows you or cares. This is how we’ll all end up, isn’t it?” – Maria
“You can do what you want to me, but this planet will never bow down to that thing.” – Sarah Jane
On Maria’s iPod
Bea listens to a song by that guy from Ocean’s Eleven (no, not George Clooney, Frank Sinatra) called On a Slow Boat to China. It could grow on us.
K9 Says…
The 600 ships of the Vizaran Royal Fleet are scheduled to ride through the Solar System, according to the Mistress. This creates a magnificent stellar light show on Earth, if only for a few seconds.
Things That Don’t Make Sense (even to a six-year old)
What key does Clyde have? Is it for Sarah and Luke’s house? If so, why does he have it? Surely Sarah Jane wouldn’t give a key to her home to someone she’s known for such a short period. Why does Luke go with the nuns at all? And then he screams like a baby for Clyde to help him. It’s rather unlikely that the opening to the secret corridor would be controlled by a bust clearly several feet from the door. Had no one over the past 400 years tried to move its pedestal? Alan seems rather lucid when Chrissie breaks into Sarah Jane’s front room, to the point that he even cries. But, when he returns to normal he doesn’t remember anything about his experience.
Snafus
When Clyde rings Sarah, she moves to pick up her mobile before it starts ringing (maybe she’s got one of those cool spinny TARDIS phone charms to warn her). Watch closely when she’s going through her cards: after flicking past the first two, she then reaches a grey Plush Press one and beneath that an empty slot. She then finds the green and white Felicity Barnes one, with a blue one beneath it. When she pulls the Barnes one out, the grey one should show behind it (as the slots are see-through)… but the camera angle changes, and suddenly she’s pulling out of the lower slot (where the blue card was) and a plain white one is visible in the top. Maria recognises the talisman in Mrs Nelson-Stanley’s photo, even though she was nowhere near it in the attic. Sarah used to live at number 13 in Invasion of the Bane, but now resides at number 21. When Alan turns back to flesh and blood his face is staring a completely different direction.
Also Known As
Phyllida Law is ancient. Like, really old. She was on TV back in 1961 (well before Freeview and stuff) in this ITV Play of the Week called The Poisoned Earth (1961). After that she was in Dixon of Dock Green (1963 and 1965), Upstairs, Downstairs (1974), Tales of the Unexpected (1983), Rumpole of the Bailey (1978 and 1987), Poirot (1989), The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles (1993), Monarch of the Glen (2002), Kingdom (2007) and dozens of others we read ’bout but just sounded dull. She’s a tough old broad and we hope she does lots more cool stuff.
Sarah Crowden is almost as old, and has been in almost as many things since she was in The Seven Dials Mystery in 1982. Check her out in The Storyteller (1988), Erik the Viking (1989), Lovejoy (1991), Rab C Nesbitt (1996), Our Mutual Friend (1998) and My Hero (2003). Actually, don’t check out that last one.
Doreen Mantle is the oldest of the lot (she’s 67! Crikey!) and has been acting since at least 1967 (Privilege). She’s been in Strange Report (1969), All Creatures Great and Small (1975), Peak Practice (1994), Our Friends in the North (1996), One Foot in the Grave (1990-2000), Hustle (2005) and Jam and Jerusalem (2006).
Beth Goddard can also be spotted in Peak Practice (1993-5) along with Medics (1995, with Tom Baker), Bugs (1996), People Like Us (1999), Big Bad World (1999-2001), Gimme Gimme Gimme (1999-2001) and The Eustace Brothers (2003).
Photographic Proof
