Thanks to Warren Hillsdon, aka member number 10000122, we are delighted to bring you a page dedicated to the legendary Dr Poo Fan Club!
Dr Poo Fan Club Pack
The Dr Poo Fan Club goodies came enclosed in a big yellow folder, emblazoned with the logo of the Department of Time and Space, and with various signatures on the front – supposedly people who had signed out the file in the past:
God
Miss Speltt (Sec)
Mr Kurt Manners
Mr Adam Cutov
G Frogmoisture
The Cleaner
Doctor Poo
The folder’s subject was “Dr. Poo Fan Club”, and other relevant files were “Intergallactic Chook Raffle”…
Membership Card
A membership card (Fix Ya Photo Here!) came with conditions of use:
1. May be used for train travel anywhere in Australia, but don’t blame us if they catch you.
2. This card is not good for hitting people with.
3. Is invalid during nuclear attack.
4. This card expires when you do.
A Fan Club badge was famously included – this proved so popular that the ABC would later sell them individually. Further info on that below!
Welcome Letters
The pack included two letters, each carrying the Fan Club crest (“Allus cisterni gous”) and logo. The first was from Fan Club President, Jane McCartney, thanking you for joining the club and promising future goodies: “Owing to huge demands and the success of Poo stuff, please don’t be alarmed if your future Poo gear is delayed… it will be on its way very soon!”
The second was from Dr Poo himself, c/o The TURDIS, P.O.Box Infinite Corridors of Time & Space:
First, let me say how surprised I am that you’ve joined my fan club, after all I haven’t joined yours, but then I’ve never been one to stand in the way of a cement truck, and it is for this very good reason that I believe the Dr Me Fan Club is such a very good and extremely fine idea.
It’s nice to know, while I’m travelling through the infinite corridors of Time and Space, saving the Universe and running an interplanetary chook raffle, that you are there, your ears glued to the radio, your feet glued to the dog, and the back of your neck glued to the fridge, selflessly giving me all the support you can. And for this I thank you from the bottom of my part.
Postcards
The pack contained a collection of photographs, very much in the cut-and-paste style of the Knees Ahoy! LP sleeve, showing each of the lead characters.
Excitingly, a History of Dr Poo chronicled the first adventures of the show. We know from documents in the NAA archive (see our Episode Guide) that episode #60 featured Sherlock Humms, who isn’t mentioned here, so this page of plots must have covered the first 50-60 episodes.
Episodes 1-31 will be familiar to readers of this site, as we have covered them in the episode summaries: here the Dreks, Genghis Khan and The Firth of Fourth Dimension are recounted, detailing how Dana Sock first stumbles aboard the TURDIS and even how Kevin the Announcer is ‘the plot device who lives in your radio!’
Jane McCartney’s Welcome Letter refers to this page as Part One of a series: ‘When the other parts of The History arrive you can glue them all together. Or, if you’re smart enough, you can make a game of it. Or, if you’re NOT smart enough, you can do whatever you want!!’ The connecting lines shoot off to the right, with a note added saying, ‘joins a page not written yet.’ We don’t know whether it was ever completed, but it certainly doesn’t appear to have been mailed out to the fans.
Dr Poo Fan Club Radio Advert
POO: Dennis, my little denim sidekick, with an important message for all you cats out there.
DENNIS: Meow!
POO: Yes, Dennis! Isn’t it exciting? The Doctor Me Fan Club is just about to blast off!
DENNIS: Meow!
POO: Oh yes, lots of goodies and giveaways!
DENNIS: Meow!
POO: Oh yes, not to forget that you don’t have to pay anything to join!
DENNIS: Meow, meow!
POO: Oh yes. And where do they write to, Dennis?
DENNIS: Meow!
POO: That’s right: PO Box (etc, etc)
DENNIS: Meow?
POO: No, Dennis. We’re not going to have a Dennis the Denim Cat Fan Club just yet.
DENNIS: Meow!
POO: Dennis! Dennis, put down that knife! Dennis, You’re still on parole! Dennis!!
Dr Poo Fan Club Announcement
KEVIN: Kevin the Announcer here, from that dumbo radio serial, Dr Poo. As you are all probably unfortunately aware, Dr Poo has his own fan club – I wish I had one – and the damn thing’s become so popular there’s now a huge backlog of mail. So the nice ladies from the fan club have asked me to ask you to please be patient. They’ve also asked to also include their address, so they know where to send all that stupid Dr Poo junk. So gang if you want to join the other 8,000,000 members of this ridiculous fan club, just write to PO Box (etc, etc) and wait. Patiently. If you get bored, why don’t you start an ant farm? Everyone else has.
30 years on, the official Dr Poo fan club might be disbanded, but you can now join the drpoo.co.uk fan club instead! Send us a little email to editors@millenniumeffect.co.uk and we’ll add your name to this page and keep you informed of any future developments in the Dr Poo story – hopefully one day we’ll be able to tell you that the episodes are coming out on CD.
Current friends of Dr Poo:
Kevin, Matt, Geoffrey, Phil, Andrew, Nathan, Steven, Warren, Wayne and Lance.
